To whom it may concern,
Firstly, thank you for reading this. We realize that during these winter months your time is extremely valuable, what with the sun setting early and you spending the evening hours fumbling around trying to wrap gossamer thread around minuscule hooks. We can only imagine it must drive you mad that those snobbish trout you’ve been so focused on lately tend to feed on such tiny scraps of food…sorry…”nymphs”.
Not that you asked, but we’re doing fine. However, we’d be lying if we said this see-saw weather isn’t messing with our desire to spawn and “get it on”! Oh sure, we know what you’re thinking, we bass have one track minds. We’re sure that in your fevered brain those pretentious trout you’ve been chasing lately are far to busy dissecting the philosophical implications of the “Seven Veiled Dance of the Royal Hexaginia.” or some other high brow B.S. concept while sipping #20 midges to Mozart, than to think about giving into their animal nature.
If we bass were actually capable of remorse, we might actually feel bad about the fact that we are so “simple” that we actually enjoy slurping down giant crayfish while humming Parliment-Funkadelic tunes in our tiny brains.
Luckily we don’t need to worry. You see, while we may not be smart enough to differentiate between a #18 Royal Wulff and a #4 Tequila Popper, we ARE smart enough to know that once the weather heats up (as it always does in Texas) you’ll come crawling back. You’ll cast poppers, we’ll smack the crap out of them, and we’ll both dance something deep and funky to a Bootsy Collin bass line that seems to hum in the air.
Please don’t forget us…we’ll see you soon,